What depression taught me about hope.
The first time I experienced depression, I thought it would last forever.
I was young.
I had no idea what was happening to me.
I couldn't imagine feeling any differently than I did in that moment.
Years later, depression found me again.
The circumstances were completely different.
But the feelings were familiar.
The heaviness.
The exhaustion.
The flatness.
This time, though, something had changed.
Not the depression.
Me.
I had lived through enough life to know something my younger self couldn't possibly have known.
Difficult seasons end.
They may not end as quickly as we'd like.
But they do change.
That doesn't mean life is a straight line toward happiness.
I've learned something else over the years.
Life has seasons.
Some are filled with joy.
Others break our hearts.
None of them last forever.
When we're hurting, that's comforting.
When life is beautiful, it's a reminder to be grateful.
For me, hope no longer means believing that everything will work out exactly as I planned.
Hope is quieter than that.
Hope is remembering all the difficult seasons I've already lived through.
Hope is trusting that I will find my footing again, even if I can't see it yet.
As I've grown older, I've discovered something unexpected.
We collect evidence.
Evidence that we've survived before.
Evidence that our hearts can heal.
Evidence that life still has surprises waiting for us.
When I was in my twenties, I thought depression was telling me something about who I was.
Now I know it isn't.
It's something I experience.
Not someone I am.
Depression may still visit.
Life will still surprise me.
There will be joy.
There will be heartbreak.
And there will always be hope.
Not because I know what tomorrow will bring.
None of us do.
But because I've been here before.
And I've found my way through.
A thought to take with you
Think about a difficult season you once believed might never end.
What do you know now that you wish you could have told yourself then?
Something come to mind?
If you'd like to share it, I'd love to hear what this story made you think about.